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Profile image for bglewandowski

bglewandowski

Joined Atlas Obscura in 2016

Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning. He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia, which consists of three disappointed potted plants and a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who serves as his harshest critic. His wife just smiles politely. The plants have given up entirely. His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. One editor called it "what would happen if Finnegans Wake had a stroke." He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme, because discipline is hard) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). His debut novel, "Otter Boy," is forthcoming, assuming he resists replacing the manuscript with semicolons and otter doodles before deadline. He also just released another collection of shorts called "The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse." You can find them all on Amazon and at other fine literary establishments. Brian once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that was actually a plastic bag. The bag hasn't returned his calls. His photos have graced both the Smithsonian and several Post Offices—the wanted posters captured his good side. He's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies" (cocoa powder in a Ziploc). He called it avant-garde. The pastor's wife called the authorities. The authorities declined. Inheriting humanism from Steinbeck, absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen suddenly struggling through supernatural chaos—scenarios he understands intimately, since his entire life feels like someone else's fever dream he's forced to live through sober. He does his best writing where people can't escape: DMV waiting rooms, his car in Target parking lots, and Scottish castles when someone else is paying. His characters are clever and fearless. Brian remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
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Places I want to go

Places on this traveler's wishlist.

Cabins for overnight guests.

Tanygrisiau, Wales

Deep Sleep

For the deepest sleep of your life, head 1,375 feet underground in Wales.

The store

Marilla, New York

Marilla Country Store

A general store in rural New York has been selling hardware, candy, and conversation to the same families for 175 years straight.

Suns Cinema

Washington, D.C.

Suns Cinema

Small indie movie theater that shows documentaries and unique films and has a cocktail bar with great drinks.

Humpback Bridge

Covington, Virginia

Humpback Bridge

The oldest arched-covered bridge in Virginia has truly withstood the test of time.

Tannen's Magic Shop

New York, New York

Tannen's Magic Shop

New York's oldest magic store.

A daytime view of the grate, looking north on Lexington Avenue towards the corner of 52nd Street.

New York, New York

Marilyn Monroe’s Subway Grate

This unmarked and unloved Manhattan subway grate created one of the most iconic images in American cinema.

Eden Center's Iconic Arch is Modeled on Bến Thành Market in Ho Chi Minh City

Falls Church, Virginia

Eden Center

Northern Virginia’s iconic Vietnamese shopping center.

Curtiss-Robertson Robin, J-1D

Fredericksburg, Virginia

Shannon Air Museum

This small museum houses rare airplanes from aviation's golden age.

Fountain Of Faith

Falls Church, Virginia

The Fountain of Faith

These figures float and flutter in this fountain crafted by famed Swedish sculptor Carl Milles.

State Street

Bristol, Virginia

State Street

One street divides a single town that stands in two U.S. states.

The Monkland Tavern (5555 Monkland Avenue, NDG) neon sign is a splendid example of what the signmakers of yore called ‘bastard lettering’ — a specially created script that is not based on a font or typeface. It was removed from the main facade in 2005 because it is an anglicization of ‘Taverne’ and does not therefore comport with the language laws brought into effect in Québec in 1977.

Montreal, Québec

Montreal Signs Project

This permanent exhibition of commercial signs aims to preserve the cultural heritage of the city.

Ipswich Devil’s Footprint

Ipswich, Massachusetts

Ipswich Devil’s Footprint

According to legend, the Devil left a footprint behind after an epic showdown with a traveling priest.

The Almoravid koubba.

Marrakesh, Morocco

Almoravid Koubba

The oldest monument in Marrakesh and the city's only surviving example of Almoravid architecture.

Recreated Burchfield Studio

Buffalo, New York

Charles Burchfield's 'Turtle-Back Rock'

In the recreated studio of a visionary artist, a stone that may be more than meets the eye.

Enjoy a cold drink in patriotic company.

Buffalo, New York

Founding Fathers Pub

Sip a beer under the gaze of every U.S. president.

Roycroft Town Hall.

East Aurora, New York

Roycroft Campus

This former hub for crafty philosophers was founded by a writer who died aboard the infamous RMS Lusitania.

William McKinley Assassination Plaque

Buffalo, New York

William McKinley Assassination Plaque

The site of William McKinley's tragic assassination is only marked by an underwhelming boulder.

Abandoned Wonder Bread Factory

Buffalo, New York

Abandoned Wonder Bread Factory

A forsaken wonder in the middle of the East Side neighborhood.

Darwin Martin House Complex.

Buffalo, New York

The Darwin D. Martin House

One of Frank Lloyd Wright's greatest—and favorite—architectural masterpieces was almost lost.

Pierce-Arrow Museum.

Buffalo, New York

Pierce-Arrow Museum

This Buffalo museum hides an Art Deco gas station designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

A Japanese nonna makes gyoza at Enoteca Maria.

Staten Island, New York

Nonnas of the World

A restaurant on Staten Island showcases a different grandmother’s cooking every night.

The sign that mentions the site's significance.

Stockbridge, Massachusetts

Site of Alice's Restaurant

You can get anything you want at the former site of the restaurant immortalized by Arlo Guthrie.

PEZ Visitor Center.

Orange, Connecticut

PEZ Visitor Center

The world's largest public collection of PEZ memorabilia.

Earth Eagle Brewings

Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Earth Eagle Brewings

One of the few brewers in the U.S. experimenting with hop-free beers.

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