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Profile image for bglewandowski

bglewandowski

Joined Atlas Obscura in 2016

Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning. He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia, which consists of three disappointed potted plants and a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who serves as his harshest critic. His wife just smiles politely. The plants have given up entirely. His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. One editor called it "what would happen if Finnegans Wake had a stroke." He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme, because discipline is hard) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). His debut novel, "Otter Boy," is forthcoming, assuming he resists replacing the manuscript with semicolons and otter doodles before deadline. He also just released another collection of shorts called "The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse." You can find them all on Amazon and at other fine literary establishments. Brian once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that was actually a plastic bag. The bag hasn't returned his calls. His photos have graced both the Smithsonian and several Post Offices—the wanted posters captured his good side. He's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies" (cocoa powder in a Ziploc). He called it avant-garde. The pastor's wife called the authorities. The authorities declined. Inheriting humanism from Steinbeck, absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen suddenly struggling through supernatural chaos—scenarios he understands intimately, since his entire life feels like someone else's fever dream he's forced to live through sober. He does his best writing where people can't escape: DMV waiting rooms, his car in Target parking lots, and Scottish castles when someone else is paying. His characters are clever and fearless. Brian remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
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254

Places I want to go

Places on this traveler's wishlist.

Line up early to snag a pillowy pączek.

Brooklyn, New York

Syrena Bakery

Polish babkas, cheesecakes, and rose jelly-filled doughnuts are made fresh daily at this neighborhood stalwart.

Ben Youssef Madrasa.

Marrakesh, Morocco

Ben Youssef Madrasa

The largest madrasa in Morocco once housed more than 900 students within its exquisite walls.

ANIMA.

Marrakesh, Morocco

ANIMA

This amazing oasis of art and plants is hidden on the outskirts of Marrakesh.

Orange tree besides a sepulchre within the wall of the Saadian Tombs

Marrakesh, Morocco

Saadian Tombs

Deliberately hidden for centuries, the magnificent Saadian Tombs were eventually uncovered in 1917.

'The Embrace'

Boston, Massachusetts

'The Embrace'

This bronze sculpture was inspired by a photograph of Martin Luther King Jr. and his wife embracing after he won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Democratic Donkey and Republican Footprints

Boston, Massachusetts

Democratic Donkey and Republican Footprints

This statue intended for children to enjoy became a minor political spat.

"Cultural Heroes."

Boston, Massachusetts

Folk Americana Roots Hall of Fame

A unique music museum housed in a historic Boston theater.

Class of 1959 Chapel.

Boston, Massachusetts

Class of 1959 Chapel

The strikingly modern structure stands out among the brick buildings speckling the Harvard Business School's campus.

Metropolitan Waterworks Museum

Boston, Massachusetts

Metropolitan Waterworks Museum

Beautiful steampunk ghosts of early Massachusetts.

Grave of Henrietta Lacks

Clover, Virginia

Grave of Henrietta Lacks

The woman whose immortal cell line continues to shape scientific research was buried near her birthplace in a grave that was left unmarked for nearly 60 years.

Turk's Inn

Brooklyn, New York

Turk's Inn

A Wisconsin kitsch palace from the 1930s lives its second life in 21st-century Brooklyn.

The Golden Shopping Mall

Queens, New York

The Golden Shopping Mall

An easy to overlook storefront hides some of the most authentic and regionally diverse Chinese food in New York.

Lower East Side Toy Company (The Back Room)

New York, New York

Lower East Side Toy Company (The Back Room)

Become a prohibition rebel.

Ice cream cone from the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory.

New York, New York

Chinatown Ice Cream Factory

Order scoops of pandan, lychee, and black sesame at this family-run institution.

Hamnøy Reien, Lofoten.

Røst, Norway

Lofoten Islands

The convergence of two currents makes this a surprisingly pleasant getaway in the Arctic Circle.

The National Toy Train Museum

Ronks, Pennsylvania

The National Toy Train Museum

A comprehensive collection of toy and model trains, largely from the mid-20th century.

Bucket Fountain

Wellington, New Zealand

Bucket Fountain

Referred to as "the crappiest fountain ever," this sculpture has been splashing unknowing passersby since 1969.

Wellington has a rich literary history.

Wellington, New Zealand

Wellington Writers Walk

Quotes and poems etched on stone plaques are hidden along this waterfront walkway.

These stunning sculptural toilets are an elevated bathroom experience.

Matakana, New Zealand

Matakana Toilets

A serene, almost spiritual place to do one's business. Who knew a public toilet could inspire and awe?

Note the steamboat in the center.

Strasburg, Pennsylvania

Choo Choo Barn

This extraordinary model train layout covers over 1,700 square feet, with multiple trains running simultaneously.

Frank Lloyd Wright Home & Studio

Oak Park, Illinois

Frank Lloyd Wright Home & Studio

The first home and studio that belonged to the famous architect.

Hoppin John Risotto

Williamsburg, Virginia

Chowning’s Tavern

Enjoy dishes that founding fathers once ate at this Colonial Williamsburg pub.

Urge	to Stand, Tabla Drummer

Brooklyn, New York

Robotic Church

This former Norwegian sailor's church is slowly being taken over by ramshackle robot musicians.

The door to Otto Penzler’s office in the Mysterious Bookshop, marked by police tape.

New York, New York

Mysterious Bookshop

The world’s oldest and biggest bookstore stocking only mystery, crime fiction, espionage, and thrillers.

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