A surveillance image of the suspects.
A surveillance image of the suspects. New Zealand Police

Police in Canterbury, New Zealand, early Monday posted the above picture on Facebook, along with the following description: 

At approximately 2:20am this morning these two men entered the BP in Rolleston armed with a hammer and a knife.

They have smashed a glass shelf which startled the attendant, who retreated to the staff room, where another colleague was having their break.

The two offenders have then left the service station with an unknown amount of confectionery.

Police did not comment on the shark in the room, as it were, but astute observers will notice that while one alleged thief is wearing traditional thief clothing—almost all black, though he’s docked points for wearing shorts—another alleged thief is wearing a shark suit.

Now, listen. Perhaps shark man was merely trying to match the ridiculousness of his outfit—which, again, was a shark suit—to the ridiculousness of the alleged crime, which was stealing an “unknown amount of confectionary.”

But that doesn’t explain why he brought a hammer to a candy fight, or, indeed, remembered to wear black gloves, each decision suggesting this duo had bigger ambitions in mind.

Still, as the saying goes, life is what happens when you’re making other plans, and life, for this man, at 2:20 a.m. on a Monday morning in New Zealand, meant a shark suit, a hammer, and some candy. And, now, being wanted by the police.