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bglewandowski

Joined Atlas Obscura in 2016

Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning. He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia, which consists of three disappointed potted plants and a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who serves as his harshest critic. His wife just smiles politely. The plants have given up entirely. His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. One editor called it "what would happen if Finnegans Wake had a stroke." He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme, because discipline is hard) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). His debut novel, "Otter Boy," is forthcoming, assuming he resists replacing the manuscript with semicolons and otter doodles before deadline. He also just released another collection of shorts called "The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse." You can find them all on Amazon and at other fine literary establishments. Brian once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that was actually a plastic bag. The bag hasn't returned his calls. His photos have graced both the Smithsonian and several Post Offices—the wanted posters captured his good side. He's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies" (cocoa powder in a Ziploc). He called it avant-garde. The pastor's wife called the authorities. The authorities declined. Inheriting humanism from Steinbeck, absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen suddenly struggling through supernatural chaos—scenarios he understands intimately, since his entire life feels like someone else's fever dream he's forced to live through sober. He does his best writing where people can't escape: DMV waiting rooms, his car in Target parking lots, and Scottish castles when someone else is paying. His characters are clever and fearless. Brian remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
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254

Places I want to go

Places on this traveler's wishlist.

Slicing up the durian.
Permanently Closed

New York, New York

Durian NYC

The best place in New York to pick up the controversial, notoriously foul-smelling Asian "king of fruits."

A miniature New York

Bronx, New York

Holiday Train Show at New York Botanical Garden

Every year model trains zip through a miniature New York City that's now 150 landmarks strong.

Toloache

New York, New York

Toloache

Discover the taste of mold.

Shrine of Saint Frances Cabrini

New York, New York

Shrine of Saint Frances Cabrini

The mummified relics of an American missionary.

Grand Central Oyster Bar

New York, New York

Grand Central Oyster Bar

This subterranean oyster house has been the pearl of Grand Central Station since 1913.

Cafe at the Swedish Church of New York

New York, New York

Cafe at the Swedish Church of New York

Finally, you don't have to be a pious Swedish seaman to relax like one.

Inside a vault.

New York, New York

Catacombs of Old St. Patrick's Cathedral

Historical figures from New York City's Catholic community reside in Midtown.

Bricked up entrance to Clinton Hall detail.

New York, New York

The Forgotten Entrance to Clinton Hall

Hidden in one of New York's oldest subway stations is the final remnant of the site of the bizarre Shakespeare Riots.

Kenka

New York, New York

Kenka

Make a tough dinner decision: Octopus wasabi roulette or bull penis?

A Wicked booth

New York, New York

Broadway Flea Market

An annual extravaganza of Broadway theater memorabilia.

Sidewalk Subway Map

New York, New York

Sidewalk Subway Map

Plot your trip through the city on the sidewalk.

A perfect place for cocktails.

New York, New York

Radio City Music Hall's Secret Apartment

Built as a gift to the hottest tastemaker of the time, these hidden quarters remain an Art Deco showpiece.

Barthman's Sidewalk Clock

New York, New York

Barthman's Sidewalk Clock

A clock set into the concrete outside a Manhattan jeweler has been telling time underfoot for over a century.

Life Underground

New York, New York

'Life Underground' Sculptures

An artist's cute bronze subway sculptures belie his violent artistic past.

Burger Joint

New York, New York

Burger Joint

Slyly buy a shake in the Parker Meridien lobby.

Fraunces Tavern

New York, New York

Fraunces Tavern

This Wall Street bar was once a hub of revolutionary activity where Washington famously bid farewell to his troops.

Pomander Walk

New York, New York

Pomander Walk

Peek through the gates at this oasis from the city, full of Old English charm.

Acuario Cafe
Permanently Closed

New York, New York

Acuario Cafe

A garment factory hides a small Dominican eatery in the hallway to its freight elevator.

El Sabroso

New York, New York

El Sabroso

This semi-hidden Manhattan restaurant is based out of a loading dock.

The beautifully tiled Art Deco tunnel hidden underneath 34th street.

New York, New York

The Hidden Art Deco Tunnel Underneath the New Yorker Hotel

The beautiful tunnel that ran from the lobby to Penn Station is still hidden underneath 34th Street.

The New York Earth Room

New York, New York

The New York Earth Room

A room in New York City that contains 250 cubic yards of dirt.

Goldbar
Permanently Closed

New York, New York

Goldbar

A hip bar decorated with walls of golden skulls.

Greenacre Park

New York, New York

Greenacre Park

Read a book next to a Midtown waterfall.

Interesting Things at their traveling Museum

New York, New York

The Museum of Interesting Things

A hands-on traveling collection of the innovative devices of yesteryear.

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