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Profile image for bglewandowski

bglewandowski

Joined Atlas Obscura in 2016

Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning. He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia, which consists of three disappointed potted plants and a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who serves as his harshest critic. His wife just smiles politely. The plants have given up entirely. His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. One editor called it "what would happen if Finnegans Wake had a stroke." He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme, because discipline is hard) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). His debut novel, "Otter Boy," is forthcoming, assuming he resists replacing the manuscript with semicolons and otter doodles before deadline. He also just released another collection of shorts called "The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse." You can find them all on Amazon and at other fine literary establishments. Brian once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that was actually a plastic bag. The bag hasn't returned his calls. His photos have graced both the Smithsonian and several Post Offices—the wanted posters captured his good side. He's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies" (cocoa powder in a Ziploc). He called it avant-garde. The pastor's wife called the authorities. The authorities declined. Inheriting humanism from Steinbeck, absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen suddenly struggling through supernatural chaos—scenarios he understands intimately, since his entire life feels like someone else's fever dream he's forced to live through sober. He does his best writing where people can't escape: DMV waiting rooms, his car in Target parking lots, and Scottish castles when someone else is paying. His characters are clever and fearless. Brian remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
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Places bglewandowski Wants to Go

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254

Places I want to go

Places on this traveler's wishlist.

The outside of The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company.

Brooklyn, New York

Brooklyn Superhero Supply Store

The one-stop shop for all of your superhero (or evil arch-nemesis) needs.

Entering the vault!

New York, New York

Trinity Place Bank Vault Bar

This lower Manhattan bar is set up in an old bank vault that rests beneath a skyscraper that hides even more historic splendor.

Museum of Sex

New York, New York

Museum of Sex

A semi-scholarly approach to sex.

The 'Ghostbusters' Firehouse

New York, New York

The 'Ghostbusters' Firehouse

Try not to get slimed in Tribeca.

The garden inside the Ford Foundation Building

New York, New York

New York's Hidden Tropical Forest

A miniature rainforest is growing inside of a Midtown Manhattan office building.

Mmuseumm

New York, New York

Mmuseumm

A tiny museum housed in a New York freight elevator specializes in the "overlooked, dismissed, or ignored."

The fireplace adorned by elephant tusks.

New York, New York

Explorers Club Headquarters

A treasure trove of artifacts, books, and artwork from the "golden age" of exploration.

Interior of the Dream House

New York, New York

Dream House

La Monte Young and Marian Zazeela's "Dream House" will immerse you in an ever changing world of sound and light.

Taxidermy and insect displays
Permanently Closed

New York, New York

The Evolution Store

A terrific purveyor of natural history objects and curios.

First Peanut Museum in the U.S.

Waverly, Virginia

First Peanut Museum in the U.S.

A museum in the heart of Virginia peanut country devoted to the humble goober.

The backyard features a giant mural by local artist Hawk Krall.
Permanently Closed

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Pizza Brain's Museum of Pizza Culture

Enjoy a slice while browsing the world's largest collection of pizza memorabilia.

Papermoon Diner

Baltimore, Maryland

Papermoon Diner

This beloved Baltimore spot features caged dolls, a giant Pez collection, and many, many mannequins.

The orange roof is still shining, with the iconic weathervane standing tall.
Permanently Closed

Lake George, New York

The Last Howard Johnson's

All that remains of the once-booming chain is a single orange-roofed restaurant.

Annie's Paramount Steakhouse

Washington, D.C.

Annie's Paramount Steakhouse

This restaurant has been a haven for D.C.'s LGBTQ community since the 1950s.

Lining up at the slingshots.
Permanently Closed

Romulus, New York

Spud Chuckin'

Launch vegetables using oversized slingshots at this Fingerlakes winery's roadside attraction.

True Treats

Harpers Ferry, West Virginia

True Treats

Time travel with sweets across history at this research-based candy store.

So much hot sauce!
Permanently Closed

Chicago, Illinois

Heaven On Seven

Hidden on the seventh floor of a historic building, this Cajun spot features wall-to-wall bottles of hot sauce.

National Comedy Hall of Fame & Museum
Permanently Closed

Holiday, Florida

National Comedy Hall of Fame & Museum

This massive vault of comedic history is no joke.

"As We Are"

Columbus, Ohio

'As We Are'

Known locally as "the giant head," this 14-foot LED sculpture has a photo booth in the neck where you can have a 3D picture taken and displayed.

Pope-Leighey House

Alexandria, Virginia

Pope-Leighey House

This twice-relocated "Usonian" home is among the smallest built by master architect Frank Lloyd Wright.

Round Falls

Baltimore, Maryland

Round Falls

Once part of a dam servicing an early 19th century grist mill, the tucked-way falls are a tricky-to-find urban oasis.

Graffiti House

Brandy Station, Virginia

Graffiti House

At Brandy Station, Civil War soldiers left their mark on the battlefield and the walls of this small wooden house.

The museum houses a smattering of signs.
Permanently Closed

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The Neon Museum

Old neon signs from the City of Brotherly Love provide a snapshot of the city’s evolution.

A bald eagle flies in front of the dam.

Darlington, Maryland

Conowingo Dam

Although built to generate electricity for Marylanders, this dam has become an all-you-can-eat buffet for American bald eagles.

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