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Profile image for bglewandowski

bglewandowski

Joined Atlas Obscura in 2016

Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning. He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia, which consists of three disappointed potted plants and a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who serves as his harshest critic. His wife just smiles politely. The plants have given up entirely. His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. One editor called it "what would happen if Finnegans Wake had a stroke." He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme, because discipline is hard) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). His debut novel, "Otter Boy," is forthcoming, assuming he resists replacing the manuscript with semicolons and otter doodles before deadline. He also just released another collection of shorts called "The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse." You can find them all on Amazon and at other fine literary establishments. Brian once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that was actually a plastic bag. The bag hasn't returned his calls. His photos have graced both the Smithsonian and several Post Offices—the wanted posters captured his good side. He's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies" (cocoa powder in a Ziploc). He called it avant-garde. The pastor's wife called the authorities. The authorities declined. Inheriting humanism from Steinbeck, absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen suddenly struggling through supernatural chaos—scenarios he understands intimately, since his entire life feels like someone else's fever dream he's forced to live through sober. He does his best writing where people can't escape: DMV waiting rooms, his car in Target parking lots, and Scottish castles when someone else is paying. His characters are clever and fearless. Brian remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
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254

Places I want to go

Places on this traveler's wishlist.

The Pines Resort
Permanently Closed

Fallsburg, New York

The Pines Resort

This once sprawling resort now sits abandoned, filled with graffiti and vibrant colors from an era long passed.

The back view of the building

Atlanta, Georgia

Kendeda Building

This "living building" on Georgia Tech's campus is home to a blueberry orchard, honeybees, and more than 900 solar panels.

Wat Lao Buddha Phothisaram

Conley, Georgia

Wat Lao Buddha Phothisaram

An ornate Buddhist temple located in an Atlanta suburb, built by and for the Laotian community.

Kulminator
Permanently Closed

Antwerp, Belgium

Kulminator

To enter this cluttered-yet-cozy sanctum of Belgian brews, ring the bell and tell the gatekeepers you've come “to taste beer.”

Cemitério de navios - The Ship Cemetery

Panguila, Angola

Cemitério de Navios (The Ship Cemetery)

Abandoned ships along a deserted beach feel like the set of a post-apocalyptic thriller.

Back of house closest to road featuring the pond.

Derby, New York

Graycliff House

This Frank Lloyd Wright summer house was designed along Lake Erie as a retreat for a client's wife.

Théâtre Royal de Toone

Brussels, Belgium

Théâtre Royal de Toone

Drink among marionettes at this pub inside a historic puppet theater.

Gadsden Pacific Toy Train Museum

Tucson, Arizona

Gadsden Pacific Toy Train Museum

An amazing collection of model trains, collectibles, and artifacts that span the last 100 years.

Cold War Museum

Warrenton, Virginia

Cold War Museum

This museum sits on the site of a decommissioned military communications base.

Woodside Presbyterian Church.

Troy, New York

Woodside

A man used his Civil War-era fortune to build this sanctuary in memory of his wife.

O'Malley's Pub

Weston, Missouri

O'Malley's Pub

The oldest bar in Missouri is hidden within a limestone brewery cellar more than 50 feet underground.

Walter Johnson statue.

Washington, D.C.

Walter Johnson Statue

This statue of one of baseball’s greatest pitchers looks like something out of a sci-fi horror movie.

Fiume
Permanently Closed

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Fiume

A tiny, unmarked beer and whiskey bar above an Ethiopian restaurant in West Philly fails to conceal live bluegrass.

Defiance Roadhouse

Defiance, Missouri

Defiance Roadhouse

Who said a biker bar is no place for a taxidermy squirrel collection?

Amsterdam Cheese Museum

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Amsterdam Cheese Museum

This cheese shop also houses a museum devoted to Dutch dairy.

Rat's Restaurant

Hamilton Township, New Jersey

Rat's Restaurant

Step into Monet's world at this fine-dining restaurant in the middle of a New Jersey sculpture park.

Carnage statue in the store.

Denver, Colorado

Mile High Comics Megastore

While comics are the main attraction at this megastore, the second floor plays host to an exhibit fit for a museum.

Exposed interior of the 747

Atlanta, Georgia

The 747 Experience

One-of-a-kind museum inside the first Boeing 747-400 ever made.

It takes quiet and calm to milk a moose.

Bjurholm, Sweden

Älgens Hus (The Moose House)

A Swedish farm is the world's only producer of the rare, creamy delicacy that is moose cheese.

Parrot Gun looking over airport runway and facilities.

Richmond, Virginia

Richmond Airport Civil War Fortifications

The airport was once a Civil War battleground, and the earthwork defenses can still be seen today.

Welcome!
Permanently Closed

Jefferson, Virginia

Stoney Point Railroad

Hop on the train and tour an elaborate miniature town made completely of junk (including the train).

Egyptian Building west facade

Richmond, Virginia

Egyptian Building

A convincing little bit of ancient Egypt smack dab in Richmond, Virginia.

The Markel Building

Richmond, Virginia

The Markel Building

Inspired by a foil-wrapped potato, (seriously) the Markel Building has been deemed one of the 10 ugliest buildings in the world.

Pharmaceutical drug paraphernalia.

Arlington, Virginia

DEA Museum

An extensive, if one-sided, history of U.S. law enforcement's war on drugs.

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