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Profile image for bglewandowski

bglewandowski

Joined Atlas Obscura in 2016

Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning. He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia, which consists of three disappointed potted plants and a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who serves as his harshest critic. His wife just smiles politely. The plants have given up entirely. His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. One editor called it "what would happen if Finnegans Wake had a stroke." He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme, because discipline is hard) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). His debut novel, "Otter Boy," is forthcoming, assuming he resists replacing the manuscript with semicolons and otter doodles before deadline. He also just released another collection of shorts called "The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse." You can find them all on Amazon and at other fine literary establishments. Brian once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that was actually a plastic bag. The bag hasn't returned his calls. His photos have graced both the Smithsonian and several Post Offices—the wanted posters captured his good side. He's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies" (cocoa powder in a Ziploc). He called it avant-garde. The pastor's wife called the authorities. The authorities declined. Inheriting humanism from Steinbeck, absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen suddenly struggling through supernatural chaos—scenarios he understands intimately, since his entire life feels like someone else's fever dream he's forced to live through sober. He does his best writing where people can't escape: DMV waiting rooms, his car in Target parking lots, and Scottish castles when someone else is paying. His characters are clever and fearless. Brian remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
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Places I've been

Places this traveler has marked as been there.

Strolling along the lilacs.

Rochester, New York

Rochester Lilac Festival

One of the largest festivals of flowers in North America takes place, appropriately, in the Flower City.

The taxidermed elephant head that's on display in the main room.

Rochester, New York

The George Eastman Museum

The home, museum, and death site of Kodak's influential founder.

WikiCommons)

Staten Island, New York

Fresh Kills Landfill

One-time largest man-made structure in the world will be a park in 30 years.

Niagara Mohawk Building

Syracuse, New York

Niagara Mohawk Building

This Art Deco fortress in upstate New York gives Manhattan's vaunted examples of the style a run for their money.

Plane Mates at Dulles Airport.

Sterling, Virginia

Dulles Airport Mobile Lounges

These unusual rooms on wheels are holdovers from the 1960s.

The 7 symbol in front of the Jefferson statue in the Rotunda.

Charlottesville, Virginia

University of Virginia's Seven Society

The story behind the mysterious symbol painted in front of the historic university's famous Rotunda.

American Celebration on Parade

Quicksburg, Virginia

American Celebration on Parade

An enormous warehouse filled with parade floats collected from over 50 years of patriotic celebrations.

The quote.

Natural Bridge, Virginia

Hidden J.R.R. Tolkien Quote

Lines from a walking song are etched into a rock in Natural Bridge State Park.

Barboursville

Barboursville, Virginia

Barboursville Ruins

The ruins of this Thomas-Jefferson-designed mansion have been left to crumble since the Christmas Day they burnt down.

The Natural Bridge

Natural Bridge, Virginia

The Natural Bridge

A sacred site for Native Americans surveyed by George Washington and owned by both King George III and Thomas Jefferson.

Edgar Allan Poe Museum

Richmond, Virginia

Edgar Allan Poe Museum

This museum devoted to the gothic author holds such interesting ephemera as his socks and walking stick.

Mrs Mallard and her entire brood.

Boston, Massachusetts

Make Way for Ducklings Statue

Mrs. Mallard and her brood are a beloved fixture in Boston Public Garden.

The famous statue has had an interesting life.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

John Harvard 'Statue of Three Lies'

The statue of John Harvard isn't actually John Harvard—or even, technically, the founder of the school.

American Shakespeare Center's Blackfriars Playhouse

Staunton, Virginia

American Shakespeare Center's Blackfriars Playhouse

The only recreation of William Shakespeare's indoor playhouse.

AHAC Headquarters

Boston, Massachusetts

AHAC Headquarters

Located in Faneuil Hall, the headquarters of the Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company of Massachusetts has stood the test of time.

Fort Independence

Boston, Massachusetts

Fort Independence (Castle Island)

On a former island, this old fortification once used to protect the Boston Area and started Edgar Allan Poe in his military career.

USS Constitution

Boston, Massachusetts

USS Constitution

Berthed at the Charlestown Navy Yard in Boston, "Old Ironsides" is the oldest commissioned warship still afloat.

Blaschka Glass Flowers

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Blaschka Glass Flowers

Impossibly life-like natural history models created out of glass by a father and son.

Mt. Auburn Cemetery

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Mount Auburn Cemetery

This peaceful Massachusetts graveyard was one of the first "garden-style" cemeteries in America.

Salem Witch House

Salem, Massachusetts

The Witch House of Salem

The only structure left with direct ties to the Salem witchcraft trials of 1692.

Smuttynose Island. (Wikimedia Commons)

Kittery, Maine

Smuttynose Island

Scene of the grisly murder of two Norwegian women in 1873.

The back of the menu at the Country Tavern Restaurant
Permanently Closed

Nashua, New Hampshire

Country Tavern Restaurant

Restaurant in a 1741 farmhouse that touts the story of its haunting on its menus.

The Summit of Mount Washington

Jackson, New Hampshire

Mount Washington

The highest point in the state of New Hampshire, and while unlikely "the worst weather in the world," it sure seems that way to hikers.

Eartha. Europe Africa Asia

Yarmouth, Maine

Eartha

The world's largest rotating world.

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